Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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