I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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