first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
people are starting to question the shark bite story
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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