I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
