Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize