..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Randomize
