is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
