Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Farmville is her only friend.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Randomize
