East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
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