And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
