It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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