I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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