My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
