Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
