i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
