Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
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