She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Found your dick twin last night
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
