he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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