he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
