Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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