She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
