He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize