I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Randomize
