Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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