I seem to have left my pride at pride
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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