the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Randomize
