you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
