Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
