I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
