i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
