He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Randomize
