dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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