Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
