I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Randomize
