my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Randomize
