I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I can't put those talents on a resume
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
