and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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