hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
