Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
