this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize