Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Randomize
