porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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