oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
My liver just had a heart attack.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
