great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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