Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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