I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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