I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
