How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Randomize
