Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
