butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
