My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
