there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
