ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I'm passing your future prison.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
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