I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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