if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
