So drunk its hurt
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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