I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Randomize
