how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
handjob tips. give me some.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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