Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
