you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
