I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
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