Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
