I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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