found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
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