I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Randomize
