I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
