Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize
