Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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