Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
