man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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